The Peaceful Life

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I'm sitting here on Hugslut's couch getting ready to poke around on social media for a few hours before D&D and I decided that since the rain from yesterday was over I'd open the window behind me... Wow.  Took a whole day of rain to clean the air but the smell just took me back to very carefree times.

There are thing in life that when I was a child, I only had access to while camping, so now there's a lot of things that make me smile randomly.

When we went camping it was the only time I didn't have to wake up early... but I often did, waking with the sun, even at 6am, was much more comfortable than waking to the blaring alarm in my windowless basement bedroom. I still prefer to wake without alarm, or at the very most a non-jaring one. It starts the day on a much nicer note.

While we camped, the meals that were cooked were often done by my dad and his wife because to them it was fun and cool to cook on the BBQ or campfire compared to the drudgery of fish-sticks and spaghetti at home. That means I had the whole day before me and nothing was expected of me except to show up for meals. I spent those days learning all sorts of things including the cruelty of small children, and the beauty of natural cycles.

Being old enough to stay up late but young enough to not count as an adult, I got to enjoy sitting around a campfire silently listening to the ebb and flow of conversation around me as I watch the fire dance and consume whatever we gave it. This quiet companionship before bed allowed a meditative space to ponder things great and small.

These were the most peaceful days of my childhood and I think in some ways, it's the feeling I want to recapture on my homestead. A sort of slower pace that allows for great thoughts between the moments, and a connection with the natural rhythms that is harder to forge in the cement filled city.

Good Times, Bad Times

It's the good times I'm living in that make me realize how many bad times I've had. The bad times I've had help me frame the current good times as the joy they are.

When the only vegitables in my house are frozen, and the only fruit are slightly wrinkly apples, instead of recognising it's time for grocery shopping, things feel normal. I haven't completely broken out of old mindsets. Having a salad for dinner filled with a variety of leafy greens, vegies, berries, plus nuts, seeds, and cheese can be done on a fairly regular basis, yet it feels decadent.

Obviously finances and therefore nutrition have improved now that I'm not supporting a man who eats twice what I do. But there's also been an overall improvement in my social and family life since I decided that I wouldn't let toxic people dictate anything.

Last night was what I'm sure is normal for a caring family... but sometimes it's the small things that touch me soo much. I hurt myself Sunday and so I'm having trouble walking or lifting heavy things. I had planned to take the bus to Canadian Tire after work because they're the only one that carries our awesome litter.(seriously awesome, check it out) Then I was going to haul the 9kg(20lb) bag with my good arm all the way across to parking lot back to the bus stop, and then two blocks from the other bus stop to home. This is no big deal usually... but after work I was just so worn out and my shoulder was aching...

Hugslut has told me not to be afraid to ask if I need anything (especially if it means she gets to drive) so I texted to ask her if she could please pick up cat litter on her way home from work. She did so sweetly without any "well if you really need me to" guilt piled on. When she brought it to my place, my mom insisted on being the one to refil the litterbox telling me it was not a problem for her, but I was injured and wouldn't get better if I agravated the injuries.

I was really touched by their help and I couldn't figure out why for a bit. It's not like they did anything big or dramatic... but the fact that I thought of Hugslut's actions in the frame of not doing the guilt trip stuff she's NEVER done I realized the issue.

I've done everything by myself for so long because I was dating parasites.

It's a long hard road to unlearn the lesons drilled into me by years of abuse, but I'm starting to trust my loved ones to love me the way I love them. Giving with the only payment being making a loved one's life easier/happer/better.

It's time I took the advice I gave Hugslut not to long ago, "Breathe easy. We can tackle everything together."

Make Hay While The Sun Shines

Being injured has helped me realize I need to be more greatful and active during periods of health.

When I'm back to myself again I'm going to be better at taking care of my health. Sure I was walking home from work every day but I wasn't eating well or anything else and that won't get me fit enough to run a homestead.

I also need to buckle down on savings so we can afford that homestead. LOL

Wish me luck and a speedy recovery. I'll keep you up to date on the health stuff after I'm healed up.

Owowowow

Had an accident on Sunday.  Tripped on some rebar and fell flat scraping my knee and hand in the proccess. My shoulder is a bit jammed up too. 

I'm very happy I didn't break anything and I didn't bonk my head... that said, being hurt is no fun. I'm limping and having trouble sitting because my knee doesn't want to bend. The insides feel fine but the outside is too banged up to stretch.

I am not a happy camper, or as Hugslut would put it, I'm in the wars.

Will It Be A Land Of Plenty?

Was wondering how close we were going to be cutting it with the whole growing our own food thing so I decided to do a few quick calculations based on caloric intake only. As a programmer Hugslut would probably need about 2000 calories a day and as a farmer I might need on average 2500-3000 a day. Lets average that to 4750 calories per day.

While our cow is feeding her baby we'll get about a gallon of milk a day. That's 2500 calories. There's three times as much once it's eating grass instead of nursing but lets use the low levels to make it easy.(especially since any over production we don't can or turn into butter or something will just go to the pig) That's about 675 calories

The hens will be laying about 6 eggs a day. That's about 470 calories. We could easily add more hens but 6 was the number we have been talking about.

I plan to eat about two chickens a month so that won't really affect the calorie count too much but for accuracy, it winds up being about 80 calories per day. 

The fruits and vegetables are really hard to calculate since different things are available at different times of year and a bunch will be processed into jars for later. So lets just say at least two apples, two cups strawberries, a cup of cherry tomatoes, a cup of salsa, a zucchinni, 2 cups of salad greens, a cup of snow peas, handful(half cup) of hazelnuts, and two potatoes a day. There will be much more fruit and veggies of high calorie and vitamin contents like squash, those are just a few random veggies easily eaten by two people in one day and the total is about 1199 calories.

Milk 2500 + eggs 470 + chicken 80 + veggies 1199 = 4249! 

That's almost enough for both of us and it doesn't count anything we'd be buying instead of growing like salad dressing, pasta, rice, or sugar.

I'll admit I was worried but colour me content. This is highly doable.